Dear Annie: I’m afraid my brother’s parenting style is hurting his child

Dear Annie: I believe it’s a bad idea for people to share their unsolicited opinions on other people’s parenting, especially not someone like me, who is young, single, childless and barely knows what to do with my own life.

Still, I can’t help but worry about my brother’s lifestyle. His house is a mess, and not just a “child lives here” kind of messy, but the kind where the dining room is never used to dine in because the chairs and table are always occupied with things. His 4-year-old daughter sleeps in her parents’ bed, which they don’t like but won’t send her to her own bed.

That kid is very pampered in general; for example, brother and sister-in-law buy her new toys for no particular occasion, before she even has time to ask for them.

I’m afraid their home is slowly looking more and more like those in “Hoarders.” What worries me the most is that their lifestyle reminds me of a friend from childhood, who is currently very troubled and has tried to commit suicide several times.

Alarmist person that I am, I want to inform my brother of this, but I suppose it’s too far-fetched? Also, my mother criticizes their parenting a lot, which causes lots of fights, so it already is a sensitive topic for my brother.

Should I share my worries with him or let him figure out things at his pace? — The Nosy Aunt

Dear Nosy Aunt: You clearly have good intentions, but your instinct is also correct that unsolicited parenting advice from someone without kids rarely goes over well. Instead of focusing on criticism, focus on support.

If they mention feeling overwhelmed, offer your services to help declutter and organize.

Of course, if you believe their child is legitimately in danger, then you need to contact social services.

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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.