DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents run a guest house that is filled mostly with people they consider friends. Guests often gather directly on the other side of a door that separates the guests’ quarters from ours.
When I close the door for privacy, it feels as if I am rudely shutting the door in the guests’ faces. When the door remains open, guests frequently walk into our quarters — uninvited, even in the middle of dinner — and interrupt us. Is there something I can say politely as I close the door? Or is there a polite way I can voice my discontent for the unwelcome interruptions?
GENTLE READER: Please remind Miss Manners to tell the business world to stop getting into etiquette, because they take things that everyone understood and muddy them up beyond all recognition.
Yes, it is perfectly polite to close the door when you need privacy. All you have to do is go to the door, say, “Excuse me, I’m going to close the door for a little while now,” and do so.
No, there is no easy way to tell someone who appears at an open door that they are not welcome: At the very least, you will have to speak to them civilly and listen while they respond.
This was all perfectly simple until someone’s boss established an “open-door policy” and told everyone they were always available to talk — and then punished people foolish enough to take them seriously.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to dearmissmanners@gmail.com, or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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