Understanding loneliness: How social isolation can harm the individual and society

When was the last time you saw a shepherd watching over his flock of sheep? Perhaps never? Neither had I until recently, when a friend handed me a small book, titled The Lonesome Shepherd. It is a lovely graphic novel by Canadian cartoonist James Collier, about a young aspiring shepherd looking for a sheep so he can become a real shepherd. It started me thinking about the difference between lonesome and lonely.

Doing a bit of etymological research, I discovered that lonely is a word that describes feeling sad or unhappy because you are alone or apart from others. Lonesome can mean the same but it also carries a lesser emotional charge of simply being solitary. The word alone means there is no living being with you.

In 2018, the Conservative government in Great Britain announced it was appointing a minister of loneliness. The announcement was greeted with humour on both sides of the Atlantic, but as more serious commentators pointed out, “loneliness is a real and diagnosable scourge.”

A few years ago, the surgeon-general of the United States rang the alarm on loneliness by stating that it is as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and more dangerous than obesity.

When asked by the Canadian Social Survey in 2021, more than one in 10 people 15 and older said that they always or often felt lonely, and three in 10 said they sometimes felt lonely. The survey results revealed that those who were frequently lonely reported poorer mental health and lower levels of overall life satisfaction than those who were lonely less often.

Loneliness is a subjective experience. In contrast, social isolation is more measurable, as it refers to the objective lack of relationships. Loneliness can sometimes be triggered by the loss of a loved one or a job, relocating to a new city, or experiencing health or financial struggles. While many people choose to be alone, at least part of the time, others, particularly the elderly, are forced by circumstances beyond their control to live confined to their homes.

Over the past few decades, community involvement has declined, with more individuals living alone. Attendance at religious services has significantly decreased, and fewer people are getting married. This trend has been under way for many years but was significantly exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, which separated so many people from friends, family, co-workers and support systems.

Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling – it harms both the individual and society. Social isolation and loneliness are associated with reduced physical activity, reduced sleep quality and increased smoking and drinking. Loneliness affects people of all ages and all demographic groups, but not all people equally. Like most aspects of health and disease, personal factors, including race, age, gender and income, play a role in how people and communities experience loneliness.

Seniors are particularly vulnerable when living alone owing to chronic health conditions, hearing loss, and visual and mobility impairments. Among older adults, social isolation has been linked to negative physical and mental-health outcomes, including a higher risk of dementia, heart disease, depression, anxiety and suicide.

On the other end of the spectrum, more than a third of male secondary-school students surveyed spend five hours or more daily on electronic devices. Female students spend significantly more than five hours a day on social media. Not surprisingly, admissions of Canadian girls to hospitals for intentional self-harm increased by 110 per cent between 2009 and 2014.

Although loneliness is often perceived as a form of mental distress, it actually affects the entire body and changes in the body affect how you feel. It’s not just in your head.

A study published in 1992 showed that coronary heart disease patients who were not married and did not have a confidant had a significantly higher five-year incidence of mortality (50 per cent) than that (18 per cent) observed in patients with a spouse or partner. Marriage was associated with greater high-frequency heart rate variability (HF-HRV) and happy marriages were associated with even greater HF-HRV. HF-HRV directly measures parasympathetic control of the heart.

For heart failure patients, loneliness has been associated with nearly a fourfold increase in the risk of death, a 68-per-cent higher likelihood of hospitalization and a 57-per-cent greater chance of emergency department visits. Lonely individuals have increased peripheral vascular resistance and elevated blood pressure. Socially isolated animals develop more atherosclerosis than those housed in groups.

JP Gouin from Concordia University studied students who relocated to a foreign country. He found that within the first five months of arrival, lower social integration was associated with a decreased HF-HRV. These results suggest that variations in autonomic nervous system function, as reflected by HF-HRV, could play a crucial role in linking social integration to overall health. Social integration refers to the process of individuals becoming connected and engaged within a community or social group. It involves forming relationships, participating in social activities, and feeling a sense of belonging.

Perceived social isolation negatively affects the physical health of both humans and animals, leading to the activation of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, the body’s response to stress, and an increase in depressive behaviours. Social isolation and socio-economic stress have been associated with enhanced inflammation and an impaired immune response.

Loneliness may result in decreased stability of the gut microbiome (all the viruses and bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract) and, consequently, reduced resistance and resilience to stress-related disruptions, increasing the risk of systemic inflammation. In fact, the more we learn about the bacteria residing in our gastrointestinal tract, the more we come to appreciate their contribution to our health.

Higher levels of social support are associated with gut bacterial diversity and vice versa. In one study, people who were more social were rated wiser than the loners. They were healthier and happier. Bacterial diversity is definitely beneficial. But which came first: pro-social behaviour or gut diversity; the chicken or the egg? And how did the researchers measure wisdom? Despite these uncertainties, the findings mark progress in understanding the connection between the gut microbiome and psychosocial factors, which play a crucial role in health.

Most people feel lonely when they are alone. But you can also feel painfully lonely when when you are not alone, like being at a party where everyone seems to be in a lively conversation with another person or a group of people but you. When that happens frequently, loneliness – like depression, with which it can be associated – can chip away at your self-esteem and erode your sense of who you are.

Our society encourages sociability. Many people measure their self-worth by the number of “friends” or “followers” they have on social media. Being alone is not valued. It’s admitting a kind of social bankruptcy. You conclude: “No one likes me.” However, being alone does not have to be a curse. It can be an opportunity. Like the old chestnut about a glass being half-empty or half-full.

I believe we need to find a golden middle between nourishing our sense of connection with each other and learning to be comfortable when we are alone. Activities and practices that promote purpose and meaning in life are crucial to a person’s well-being. And these can be undertaken with others or by yourself.

It takes little effort to volunteer at a food bank, hospital, library or the Red Cross; play games on the internet with others such as chess or bridge; join a political party or a place of worship. There are hundreds of online interest groups – a friend of mine enjoys belonging to the Richard III Society, whose objective is researching and reassessing Richard III. Personally, I am a fan of the Sophia Club. Earlier this month, for example, speakers delved into Aztec philosophy and explored what the Nahua sages can teach us today. The list is really endless. The important thing is to reach out even when it feels uncomfortable. You need to tell yourself again and again, “This is for my own good.”

Father Laurence Freeman OSB is a Benedictine monk, director of the World Community for Christian Meditation, a prolific author of many books, including the groundbreaking The Good Heart, written in collaboration with the Dalai Lama. I asked him about solitude and was surprised by his answer. He said that solitude is the cure for loneliness. Loneliness is failed solitude. It’s the failure or the inability to really be oneself and accept one’s uniqueness. And accepting one’s uniqueness is also the means of building deeper and richer relationships to others.

Ask yourself: What aspects of deep loneliness have I experienced? What can I do to prevent it happening again? How can I help others out of their loneliness?